I Gave Myself a Green: A Grade in Leadership (which is not good) by the way....

7 hours ago

6 min read

Last week, I was away at Broker Talks and MPC, surrounded by some pretty incredible people in our industry. I came home inspired, motivated, and with a realization that was a little harder to admit.

I haven't been the best leader I can be.

There. I said it.

Back in January, I booked a call with my friend, who I fondly refer to as "THE MEGAN MCDONALD."

I told her I wanted to be a better leader. I wanted to be more intentional, more connected, and more present for my team.

And for the first part of the year, I was doing pretty well.

Then, somewhere along the way, I let those goals slide.

Have you ever done that? Set a goal with the best intentions, started strong, and then slowly let life, business, and everything in between get in the way?

Because I sure have.

So, let's talk about my report card.

My son is in Grade 5, and at school, they use a colour system to track how the kids are doing each day.

Blue is the best. Calm, clear, focused, doing all the things.

Green is good, but there have been a few reminders.

Yellow? Yikes. We have some work to do.

And red? Thankfully, we've never had one of those come home.

Green is a pretty common second to blue in our house.

So, if I had to give myself a grade for the last three months (summer included), I'd give myself a solid green.

Not terrible. Not failing. Still showing up and doing a lot of good things.

But definitely some reminders needed.

And you know what the good news is?

I can do better. A LOT better.

Can you be surrounded by people and still feel lonely?

Here's something I admitted last week that surprised even me.

I was sitting on a couch in the parlour, chatting with two peers, when I said out loud:

"I'm lonely in this role."

It felt strange to say.

How could I possibly be lonely?

We have the largest team at BRX Mortgage. We have enough agents to be a small brokerage all on our own. I have incredible people around me, a brokerage that supports us, and a business I genuinely love.

Yet there I was, admitting that leadership sometimes feels really lonely.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized something.

I haven't been reaching out as much as I used to.

I've been busy creating content, sending emails, building resources, sharing blogs, making job aids, and doing all the things I thought a great team leader should be doing.

But somewhere in all of that, I was missing something pretty important.

The people.

So, on Wednesday at 5 p.m., I opened my laptop.

Not to catch up on emails. Not to work on another piece of marketing content. Not to build another resource for my team.

I opened my laptop and started sending messages.

One by one.

To every single person on my team.

Not a mass email. Not a group text. Not a copy-and-paste message.

A personalized DM.

I asked about their kids. Their health. Their business. What was happening in their world.

Some conversations were about work. Others were about life. Some were simply a chance to say hello and reconnect.

Because at the end of the day, this is a relationship business. And that includes the relationships we build with our own team.

And do you know what happened?

I learned things.

Things I had absolutely no idea were happening.

People needed help.

And here's the part that really got me.

I knew how to help them.

Someone needed to know how to get licensed in another province.

Yep, I've done that. I can help.

Someone was struggling with getting a compliance package approved.

Let's share a screen. We'll walk through it together.

Someone needed help understanding where Smart Docs go and how to update them automatically.

Yep, I know that one too.

Someone else was hiring an admin and absolutely killing it in their business.

Well, that deserved a celebration.

These weren't massive problems that required months of planning or some elaborate training program.

They were conversations.

Simple moments where someone needed an answer, encouragement, guidance, or just somebody to listen.

By the end of it, I had connected in some way, shape, or form with all 30 people on my team and had been able to help about 10 of them with something specific.

Ten people.

In one evening.

All because I reached out.

And then something else happened.

After those individual conversations, I sent a message in our team group chat.

I opened up some 45-minute sessions with me. No complicated agenda. Just dedicated time to connect, work through something, brainstorm, or talk business.

Within an hour, my DMs were blowing up with people wanting to book.

I actually think I'm going to need to open more time the following week.

And I sat there thinking...

Why wasn't I doing more of this?

Not because I don't care. I care deeply.

Not because I haven't been working hard. Trust me, I've been working.

But because somewhere along the way, I confused providing value with being connected.

And they aren't always the same thing.

Maybe leadership isn't about doing more.

I LOVE creating content for my team.

Emails, blogs, marketing ideas, job aids, resources, training. You name it. Sharing what works in my own mortgage business is one of my favourite things to do.

And I'm not going to stop doing those things.

But I'm starting to realize that sometimes the most valuable thing I can offer someone isn't another template or another piece of advice delivered to their inbox.

Sometimes it's 45 minutes.

Sometimes it's answering a question they were hesitant to ask.

Sometimes it's remembering something about their family.

Sometimes it's celebrating that they hired their first admin or helped a client through a difficult file.

And sometimes it's simply asking, "How are you doing?"

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership, just like there isn't one way to build a successful mortgage business.

Different people need different things, at different times.

And I want to be better at recognizing that.

Three things I'm taking away from this week.

1. If you're feeling lonely, reach out.

Whether you're a business owner, a mortgage agent, or a team leader, this industry can be incredibly isolating.

It's easy to sit behind a screen and assume everyone else is busy, thriving, and has everything figured out.

But chances are, someone else is looking for connection too.

You might be surprised by what happens when you're the one who starts the conversation.

2. If you're feeling like you're falling short, you can change direction.

You don't have to wait until January to reset your goals.

You don't have to throw out everything you've accomplished because you had a few months where you weren't showing up as your best self.

You can be a green today and work toward a blue tomorrow.

That's the beauty of it.

3. Leadership isn't linear.

Some seasons we're on fire. Other seasons we're just trying to keep all the balls in the air.

We get to learn, adjust, challenge ourselves, and grow.

What a privilege it is to own a business, build something meaningful, and have the opportunity to make a difference in other people's lives while doing it.

I'm going for blue.

I love my team.

I love being a team leader.

I love watching agents grow their businesses, achieve goals they once thought were out of reach, and build lives they're proud of.

And this past week reminded me that I don't need to have all the answers or create another incredible resource to be a better leader.

I just need to make sure I'm showing up for the people who are already here.

I'm also incredibly grateful to be part of a brokerage that encourages us to leave our houses, get in a room together, share ideas, and have conversations that make us think.

Because without those conversations at Broker Talks and MPC last week, I'm not sure I would have had this realization.

It's funny, isn't it?

Sometimes you need to step away from your business to see what it really needs.

And sometimes the thing it needs most is you.

So, to my team, thank you. For the conversations, the honesty, the trust, and the opportunity to keep learning how to be a better leader.

I'm here for the business questions, the brainstorming, the tough files, the wins, the challenges, and the real-life stuff in between.

I'm making more room for all of it.

And to anyone else who has been feeling a little green lately...

There's still plenty of time to turn that into blue.

Ready to chat about your goals?

Visit www.emilycallme.com

Emily Miszk